how i feel about life

"some day you will learn the people you put on pedestals are merely figments
and when you reach out to touch them they will turn from your imagined gold to dust" - (vickie)

dying would be a good escape

I need to get this app done and go mail it right now in the next 2 hours
and i just cant bring myself to do it


I am miserable
crying out my eyelids

i need to talk to someone
but
there
s

no
one

today is the greatest day of my life

I now know that no questions should ever be asked,
It is a matter of silence and secrecy,
where words are communicated through
the waving of a hand,
the embrace when you get out of a car,
and the shaking of my knees,
that persists
for hours afterward.

He laughs,
tells me that he is only human.

I guess I have to open my eyes
this is real life
it's how things go and will go
over and over again.
Today is the greatest day of my life.
Everything is
just fine.
just fine.

is it only rape if you say no

So tired, so frozen,
and cups and cups and cigarette butts.

Myself, hidden from view
Like the white fox
And the blinding bright white
That blazed in our eyes
As we sat in front of the screen.

How funny is it that
in those swathes and swathes of white,
so bright it would make you pure,
You put your hands on me.

I was forced to close my eyes
to fall asleep, drunkenly.
I couldn’t even speak a word if I tried.
I guess that justifies you.

No protest
No petitions or strikes
in the glowing television light.
My hands pushed yours away
but in the end
it is
Just you, me,
And the floor
And there is no stopping you.

stupid

self obsession
depression
mindless
endless
expression
in written words
in strokes on canvasses
who even knows

tell me what happened, or i will lie about it

My origins are fragmented
They are bits and pieces I’ve gathered
Like the unsuccessful archeologist
Who crouches in the dust
And searches hopelessly

These stepbrothers have history books
That I have never read,
And stories
She refuses to tell me.

When I ask her about them,
The photographs,
Their skin,
It is always,
“I don’t want to talk about it.”

I give up.
She is a forbidden door
With golden keys that glint distantly
Scattered,
and too far for me to reach.
Forgetting the past,
I remember the future:

I fill out applications to colleges
Half a year away from here.
School will become the machine
That will suck the thoughts from my head
And I will lie about where I am from.

no one will understand this poem

1. She's denying it,
That's all.
2. We accidentally
taught her
that It is evil.
3. She is pregnant and
she's been hiding it.
4. She is a late bloomer.
5. She is a sexaphobe,
6. She is shy.
7. This is a phase,
she'll get over it.
8. She is lying about it and
she is gay.
9. We keep getting it wrong,
let's just forget she exists.